Day two gifted me with a welcome surprise this morning.   

8+ pounds have vanished from my body over the last two weeks – just by doing something that makes me happy. 

I love food.  According to my family and friends, I’m a very good cook  Give me a little time, some spices and a new meat or vegetable and I’ll make you a good meal.  I collect recipes the way other people collect stamps — and then dream up ways to morph them into my version of the chef’s dish.  For me, a visit to a new city isn’t complete without checking out the cuisines offered in the restaurants.  The food tells you so much about people’s attitudes and culture.

That interest makes it difficult for me to stick to a diet.  You want me to eat just one type of food? Only meat or vegetables? No sweets?  Well, the sweets aren’t a problem – I’m not much of a cake/cookie/donut worshipper.  Chocolate yes, sugar no.  Still, one or two weeks on a steady diet of salty frozen meals, or proteins, or steamed vegies — and my brain goes into a meltdown of boredom.  We all know to what extremes boredom can drive a dieter.

On the other hand, I want to lose the weight I gained from an ankle injury and the resulting inactivity.  So I stiffened my backbone and tried various diets.  I even joined a gym — although my long hours and hectic schedule at work meant attendance was sporadic.  And then, a few weeks ago, I’d had enough. 

I decided I would follow my own ‘alchemic’ diet — I’d experiment with my recipes, using healthy ingredients to create modest portions of new dishes.  And I would go back to activities I enjoy — relearning yoga, fitting in light weight training and rambling through Valley Forge Park.

I’ve almost lost  a complete dress size.  Best of all, I haven’t had a snack urge or been tempted to eat seconds.  Probably because I know that the next meal, I’ll be eating something that’s delicious that I had fun creating.

Who knew cooking experiments could be so healthy?

This evening all I wanted to do was go out to the grocery store to buy copious amount of dark chocolate and a bottle of port and then sit on my couch and drown my sorrows.

But I didn’t have enough energy to even get back in the car, let alone walk through a grocery store.

Good thing, eh?!

Instead I focussed on why I am doing what I am doing and remember that all the small things add up to a huge reward. Anemia is just one more thing to overcome in order to be successful.

With 6 weeks left until my competition and a TON of work to be done, now is not the time to fall off the wagon.

So I will continue to live up to the high standards I have set for myself and give up everything that could be bad for me, even gum. GUM. I am down to 2 pieces a day and hope to eradicate it out of my life by the middle of next week…for awhile there I was up to nearly a pack a day!

Our house has nothing bad to eat left in it.  If my husband wants some junk food, the best he can do is gorge himself on asparagus dowsed in butter.  Poor guy!  Good thing our friends feed him pizza and other exciting things when we go visit, otherwise he might die a slow and healthy death!

Who’s on the wagon with me?

I made falafel tonight from a mix. I added some pumpkin seeds, onions and garlic for a little extra flavor. It was tasty. On the side I had some organic corn mixed with pigeon peas, which is similar to what we called crowder peas in the south. They are nutty flavored legumes and mix well with corn.

For lunch yesterday and today I had some chicken and roast pork with assorted vegetables. Last night I roasted chicken thighs and made a slaw of cabbage, cucumber and red pepper dressed with the juice from some bread and butter pickles, a little olive oil and sriracha. Crisp and spicy.

Tonight begins a four day weekend for me, and I am celebrating with a cocktail I call a cachaca collada. I mix cachaca (Brazilian distilled beverage made from sugar cane), pineapple and coconut milk, blended with some crushed ice.

Both yesterday and today I walked about a mile and a half. It was quite hot, so most of it was on the way home so I could shower as soon as I got here. The video below looks like a great natural workout, and something I could never do. But these British boys are amazingly agile, strong and not afraid to take risks.

I don’t normally weight train two days in a row, even for different body parts, but I made an exception today. And for a very good reason.

Those of you who have been reading for a while know that since January, I have made three attempts at cutting on my own. And you will have seen from some of my recent photographs that I haven’t been even a little bit successful. There are a lot of reasons for this – stress; my unstable lifestyle; living with a foot in each of two different countries – and so I have been trying very hard not to beat myself up too severely. It is especially hard not to, though, because not only do I know how to do this, but I have always designed my own nutrition plans in the past and done well with them. But despite my knowledge and my previous success, the fact remains that this year, I just haven’t been able to keep up my motivation.

And so I pondered hiring a professional. Someone who could help keep me on track. Someone knowledgeable about body-building diets (I don’t want to lose any of my hard-earned muscle). Someone familiar with carb cycling and weight-training. Someone who came highly recommended.  And most importantly, someone to whom I had to report regularly for at least three months, the amount of time I figure it will take  me to get ripped again. When I finally decided to go for it, I turned to Paul, the owner of my gym, for some advice and it was through him that I wound up signing with Shelby Starnes.

He has designed a carb-rotation diet for me, on a four day cycle.  I like my heaviest workout, leg-training, to be on my heaviest carb day, and as that was today, I bit the bullet, and adjusted my training schedule to his plan. The training went well, the diet went well, and at the end of Day One, I am feeling optimistic.

I have decided to use positive motivation this time, and my goal is to keep an upbeat outlook by focusing on where I’m going rather than how far I have slipped. I intend to blog my progress as I go (another motivational tool…) and though I am far too appalled by my start photos to post them, tomorrow I will post photos of where I intend to end up – candid shots from the time around the end of my cut last year.

In the meantime, here was my leg routine today.

In the gym, loving every sweaty minute of it (but man, I really need a new playlist for my nano):

Warm up: Jump Rope

followed by one set of Smith squats, no added weight.

Smith Machine Squats: Bar + 50 x 12/+70 x 10/+90 x 10/+100 x 8

Leg Press: Sled + 90 x 12/+180 x 10/+270 x 10/+300 x 8

Kettlebell Swings: 12 kg. x 12/12 kg. x 12/12 kg. x 12

Kettlebell Sumo Squats: 14 kg. x 12/14 kg. x 12/14 kg. x12

Romanian Deadlifts: 65 lbs. x 12/85 lbs. x 10/95 lbs. x 8/105 lbs. x 6

Stretching: Hip Flexors, Hamstrings, Quads, Calves

I’m having a lot of problems this week from eating out of boredom. School is back in session, meaning lots of sitting around in lecture and orientation. Then I come home to sit around and either unwind from lecture or do the massive amounts of sitting-around-on-the-computer homework we’ve been given. Thank the good lord that this is my last semester of nursing school.

The over eating has really taken a toll of my calories-in. Obviously. What’s sad is i know that if I quit these awful eating habits, I would’ve lost at least 2-4 more pounds doing P90X so far, but instead I’ve only lost 1 pound. I estimate the 2 pounds because I could see myself going over a grand total of 7000+ calories in the last 2 weeks. That hurts to say, but unfortunately, it is probably true.

Today was a rough day for getting myself off my ass and doing the workout. We have somebody staying on our living room floor all week and it has severely put a damper on my workouts. And week 3 is the toughest, in my opinion, because you’re still not seeing great results and still not so far into the program so as to say, “I’ve made it this far, and by god I’ll keep going.” But nonetheless, some how I got CardioX in yesterday and Legs & Back and ARX in today. My ARX abilities continue to improve by leaps and bounds with each work out, so if all else fails and P90X is a giant dud, my core will be amazingly strong.

Bad decision 9/2/2010: Pizza for lunch

Good decision 9/2/2010: Instead of getting candy afterward I ate a little apple; P90x Day 18

Even though I did well all day, I ate out for dinner. I need to stop eating out period, even if it’s not fast food. I had chicken with bell peppers and rice. Even though that doesn’t sound that bad, I probably ate too much of it. I passed on dessert though. So I’m proud of myself for that. I did my exercises today like I promised. I did stretching, pilates, and energy dancing.

I still don’t get what’s wrong with me though? I need to do some soul searching on why I’m so addicted to eating out. I feel like every once and while I just get this urge that’s completely uncontrollable. It’s not even fast food most of the time. Okay so maybe when I’m on my way somewhere and I need something quick fast food sounds good. But, it’s not good for me. Why don’t I love myself enough to just do it right? Of course there’s the vicious circle that obese people are in. You eat because you hate yourself, and you hate yourself because you eat. It’s really time to break the cycle from both ends, stop eating like there’s no tomorrow, and learn to love myself. It sounds simple huh? Not really. I don’t know what’s going to be worse, quitting eating, or quitting smoking. Yes, I’m a smoker. Ouch, huh? I know it’s bad for me, and I want to quit, but I have to choose between two evils. Taking medicine that will make me gain weight to quit smoking, or keep smoking until I can lose a decent amount of weight.

Did I mention this “new me” isn’t just going to be skinnier, but also healthier in general. Which means I will also be quitting smoking, and also be getting off some nasty medicine. I don’t want to give myself a time limit on anything. Why? Because I’m the type of person that will give up if I don’t live up to my expectations of myself, even if I get close. I’m not going to set myself up for failure that way. I know I have some kind of emotional and physical addiction problems to food. I mean you know you’re not doing good when your blood sugar drops and you have a freak out.

Freak outs aside. I care if I completely fall back into my old habits, but I don’t care about slips here and there. I know that just because I fall down every once and while doesn’t mean I can’t get back up again. It’s the willingness to get back up that I care about. Seems kind of counter intuitive to what I said before? Yeah I’m weird like that, I’m sure there’s other people that understand.

I know that I have a lot of inner work to do. So I’m going to share with you my Consciousness Cleanse homework for today. I have to be fearless and share these things, or else no one will know how I truly feel, and what I’m going through trying to break these bad habits.

I am on Day 3 of the Consciousness Cleanse. Day 3 is especially tough to do, the chapter is titled “The Gift of Release”. In the first paragraph she says “…seek out and let go of what has robbed you of the purity of an innocent mind, a clear heart, and a strong body.” Seeking out, that’s easy; letting go of, whoah hold the phone, gotta take some time with this one. I’m angry… I’m angry at the doctor’s that didn’t pay much attention to me, and gave me medicine that made me look like a chipmunk. I’m angry at everyone who ever told me what I could and could not do. Anything that ever held me back from my full potential is on my poop list. I’m angry that I’ve lost so many loved ones to the phenomena called death. My grandparents are gone, my Dad is gone, my dogs are gone. But I have to realize that if I stay wrapped up in this anger, it’s going to be toxic to me. I’m even angry at myself a lot, and I think that anger hurts me worst of all. My innocent mind is angsty, my clear heart is judgemental, and my strong body… ? Well let’s just say it’s more squishy than rock solid. I’ve been so wrapped up in this anger for so long… so very, very long. I need to get angry at my anger, tell it to hit the road; it’s no use living in the past. All that matters is what happens today, right now, in this moment, my choices.

Under the “Cleansing Rituals” section she asks to take a look at this toxicity and rate how much all these toxic things that have happened have effected different areas of your life. 1 is not much, 10 is more than I can calculate. Here’s my list.

Self-esteem : 9

Confidence : 10

Physical Energy : 9

Creativity : 6

Passion : 8

Intuition : 6

Future : 9

Sense of Peace : 9

Ability to Love : 5

Ability to be Loved : 7

These are not some very appetising numbers putting things into perspective this way. “Let go Rachel! Let go! Be gone demon anger!” Laughter is good medicine, but a lot of the time it’s only a band-aid. More cleansing rituals to come soon…

Well, don’t I feel like a silly smart fool at the moment.  I am pretty good with computers, and as much as I’ve had to use Excel for work and school in the past, I’m getting to be quite proficient in it. I just spent 15 minutes making a couple of formulas that minimizes user input, but gives instant statistics about my progress. *insert geeky smile here*

I should put my Programming Workflow Sheet in my Portfolio for Future

Sordid details: And don’t tell me I didn’t warn you! I made a three-tabbed Excel sheet to track my measurements, food intake, and exercise.  Today, I polished my food intake tab quite a bit. I am not so concerned of protein:fat:carbohydrates ratio, so the sheet is relatively simple. I am just impressed that I only have to add the foods I’ve eaten and their calories on the sheet and then enter CTRL + ; for a date and my little sheet calculates how much weight I’ve lost to date, what my projected weightloss will be at the end of the week,  how many calories I am under (or over) my calories per day/week and so on. I am thinking of using conditional formatting to make it even spiffier and have all these fun little colors if my calorie intake or projections are over or under what I set it out to be.

Maybe I really should get my degree in programming. I really do enjoy the mental exercise of it. All math and logic, like little puzzles every day.

PS. I’ve been doing awesome yesterday and today. Yesterday, I sat on my ass a lot chatting on the computer, took a nap, went out biking, slept poorly (like usual), and only was 10 minutes late to work!

Yoga Detox Diet Day 1- Sunday Sept 5th.

As soon as you hear detox diet, you might think, eat nothing for days on end, and drink some lame mix of maple syrup and pepper. This diet is not like it at all.

It’s all about bringing your body back to a more natural balance. Throughout the whole diet you can eat as many fruits, prepared anyway and as much as you like. The first 2 days you eat a breakfast, which would be something like organic yogurt with fruit, then lunch and dinner, which would consist of a whole grain, protein surviving, and as many veggies/salad you might like. keep in mind that seasoning shouldn’t be non-existent, but you are consciously choosing oils or herbs that are fresh and natural.

Day 3,4, and 5 you are limited to just fruits, and by ‘limited’ i mean you can eat around 2000 different things. So try out those fruits that you never heard of, make a tomato and avocado salad (because they ARE fruits!). And drink as much herbal tea as your heart desires. Then back to the same as day 1 and 2 for day 6 and 7.

The hardest part will be cutting out my morning coffee and the temptation of food that always seems to be around when you trying your best to reach a goal. It’s suggested that you make sure to get 7-9 hours sleep a night and plan on either doing yoga, or exercising everyday, you will be surprised how much energy natural food has on your system. So who’s in!?

I had heard recently that the fashion industry just went through another vanity sizing change, a downsizing, if you will. Everyone likes to say how Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 but if you account for inflation (or deflation) and vanity sizing, she really wore the equivalent of today’s size 6. That’s a huge difference.

So.
I went to Tractor Supply yesterday to try on jeans since they were having a sale. I grabbed a variety of sizes. I also grabbed a 4 just because. Because I wanted to see how much farther I had to go. I decided to try them on first thinking that I’d get any demoralization out of the way first and then get down to the real business of finding a good fitting pair of jeans. When they slipped upwards over my butt, you can imagine I was a bit confused. My head exploded when I buttoned them without too much sucking in of tummy. That should serve as a grand finale for this story but I’ll go ahead and wind it down and tell the rest. They were stretchy jeans but not those new legging jeans. After now having lost my head, I decided to try the 5/6 in the non-stretch material. I don’t know how many times my head can explode within 5 minutes but it happened again. The fit wasn’t quite as flattering because of the more restrictive waist band but still can’t fathom how I buttoned them so easily.

Well.
This morning, I got into the closet and dug deeper into my row of jeans that haven’t seen the light of day for many years and found a pair of non-stretchy Jordache 9/10′s. They were probably new about 12 years ago or so. It was a happy thing when I buttoned them and decided they were comfortable enough to wear. They are actually tighter than the 5/6 I tried on yesterday. This is how I remember a size 9 from back when I wore a size 9…not a size 9 masquerading as a size 4 or 5 or 6. What a weird world. (You might be remembering I had said earlier how I was wearing an 8 comfortably but one must remember that odd size numbers are juniors cut and even sizes are misses cut, meaning juniors clothes are cut for the more linear teenage girl figure whereas misses are for the same girls who have made a daily staple of pizza and beer for 4 years. Therefore, size 9 pants will fit tighter (no hips) than a size 8 pants (pizza and beer butt).